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August 04 Talking about 'Gen X' author tells how guys really view age - Men's health- msnbc.comI swear my husband (ghost) wrote this for Douglas Coupland. 'Gen X' author tells how guys really view age - Men's health- msnbc.com July 27 Re-EntryMY quadrant: Controlling Analyzer
MY core wound: That I won't be heard MY definition of success: Creativity, Freedom and Power
MY stand: Feisty Stubborn Goddess
MY question: Where is life in this choice?
MY point? The only wayI'm going to change things is to take control. I'm the one accountable. April 23 Talking about Couch-potato culture may cut our lives short - Buying Time?- msnbc.comIs this really news? Couldn't we see this coming? Couch-potato culture may cut our lives short - Buying Time?- msnbc.com You should take a look at this map on CNN charting obesity rates over the last 20 years. That is an eye opener! April 20 Sunday ThoughtsI've noticed that the last few entries have been links or references to web articles. I haven't been saying much about me or my life lately. I've been using the excuse a lot that I spend so much time on my work laptop, that doing anything personal is so unattractive. Boy is that a lame excuse. If I want to email or send a funny or whatever, you bet your ass I'm online! (sick obsession with Perez Hilton each day - it's like I'm a junky) I send emails, I procrastinate, I search the web for gorgeous paper products that I really don't need to be bringing into my house.
Not sure if there is something exact on my mind tonight. A few things in short sequence...
I've been ramping up on my anti-D's for almost 5 months now. My rules were (1) I don't want to gain weight and (2) don't impact my sex drive (some would say "what sex drive?" - and that would be me) So I started with one, got it up where Dr G wanted it to be. But it wasn't enough, life still felt arduous and well, shitty. So I'm now on a cocktail. (you bet I wish it were a different cocktail) and still ramping up on drug #2. Do I feel better? Yes. Have I gained weight? Yes (although I attritbute that to being back on The Pill) Do I have a sex drive? No. ... More importantly, does day-to-day life feel like a chore? No. I'm actually enjoying things again. I'm reading. I had been trying to read this thick, intense books. When I sent to San Diego a few weeks ago I picked up a Kathy Reich book. Still not done, very close. It's light reading, but not light enough that I don't feel like I'm reading trash. The point is I'm READING! I'm thinking about a class. Yeah - I know, shit or get off the pot (I hate that phrase, but have a friend's head in my mind's eye and she says this a lot) I'm using the excuse of indecision, of schedule conflicts, of work, of all sort of lame ideas to stop propelling me forward (you know that now this is out there, I know 3 readers that will be on me about that) So, better get on that one.
A's birthday party is this coming weekend (thunder storm! - what the fuck is up with this weather?! it was SNOWING this morning?!) Hello Kit-tee at Pump It Up (I can't type that without thinking Dana Carvey & Kevin Nealon) My little munchkin is going to be 5. 5!! ...sigh... Enough on that.
Last Sunday I spent an hour on the phone with a girl I went to high school with. I found her on Facebook. Very cool to talk with her. I heard about almost everyone from the old neighborhood that I ran with. (we did run, although it was usually away from trouble) Wow the memories it brought back. Like the 20-year reunion next year. It would be so cool to get a bunch of the gang back together. From what I hear, most of them moved to NYC. Some of us got further away. Social Networking, who would've guessed?
I owe two emails to two different friends.
I need to carry around a little notebook with me to jot down ideas of what to write about on here. I need to figure out how to download what I've written here so far. For posterity. Or insane fear of losing these words forever. Hm, that means I could buy some new stationary! (evil laugh that only I can hear, voice of reason shouting - but you already have so many of that exact thing!) Damn voice of reason.
I gotta go finish the laundry. January 08 Talking about Conservative pastor urges buying Microsoft stock to fight its gay rights effortsOh goddess, please help us be free of the influence of the religious right. Please allow us to continue on with respect and dignity of our fellow human beings. Please help me, to help other understand that just because "we" don't look, act or believe like "you" do, doesn't make me any less or a person or not deserving of protection and support from our government. Please... Quote Conservative pastor urges buying Microsoft stock to fight its gay rights efforts December 15 Stocking StuffersSince when did holiday stocking stuffers become things like MP3 players and diamonds? I see so many ads this season about the perfect diamond tennis bracelet to put in her stocking...or the discount on a Zune for their stocking...or a gift card to X store that they can go use for that perfect something...
Don't know what world these people are living in!
Stocking stuffers are things like, new toothbrushes, a roll of scotch tape (very popular with kids), a small toy (like a matchbox car or a figurine - nothing over $5), pens, crayons and candy. I never got special things like that in my stocking. My daughter won't either. Know what I got for her stocking? Princess toothpaste, disposable princess sippy cups, princess paper plates, a small pony toy and a roll of scotch tape. Total cost: less than $15. And she will LOVE it!
So, let's stop the retailers in their tracks huh? You with me? December 11 Trollsen TwinsWow, PETA attacks the Olsen Twins. This is pretty intense. Do you think it will make a difference?
(btw - LMAO at this!!) November 03 I'm just a girl, in an extroverted worldHow many of you are introverts? (me) And of that, how many of you live with an extrovert? More than one? (I live with two) Or are you the extrovert living with the introvert? In my therapy session last week it was pointed out to me that I'm the sole introvert in a house of extroverts. Although, it should be stated that the Cat is an introvert too. So how does someone that spends so much time in her head cope with two people that just want to engage A L L T H E T I M E ? ? ? Well, I haven't figured out the answer to that question yet and if anyone has pointers for me, I'd make you boxes of chocolate for the information (or whatever your drug of choice may be) How do I go about recharging my batteries on a daily basis when the social aspect gets sucked dry every day? The 4-year-old does not understand "Mommy needs 10 minutes". The Other-year-old understands that I need the time, but grapples with his own needs to connect (sometimes there is pacing nearby, which does not qualify as downtime). Now - please do not get the wrong message here. I love my extroverts very very much. When I do engage, there is much humor and conversation and artistic pursuits. It's just when I need to shut down, well I need to shut down. Seriously, give me some tips...
This is too cool!! Help identify your ideal candidate and why. Granted, I did the 3 minute quick evaluation, and there is so much more to know about the candidates - but wow! June 18 Good girlsHave you noticed lately more articles about successful, female celebrities that have their act together? MSN recently had an article on Mandy Moore featued on the home page that talked about her smart choices, successful (upward) career, and her lack of late-night, public/paparazzi covered social life. Many of the Gwen Stefani concert reviews I read mentioned how successful she has become, individual, mother, wife, business woman, artist...again, not succombing to drugs, partying or bad publicity. Even Hilary Duff appears to have her act together. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, the media is getting sick of the trash being touted to young girls today and are choosing to focus on healthy celebritis? Maybe? Can a mother of a 4-year old girl hope? How do I protect my daughter from images and on-slaught of the Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie mayhem? (First step may be for her mother to stop with the celebrity gossip obsession) How can I fill her mind and her life? I have to trust in my values I'm passing along and the friends I can direct her to.
Off to bed, too much to fret about these days... May 01 Random Thoughts on TuesdayOne:
I spelled Buddha wrong yesterday. Don't bother going back to my faux pas, I've already corrected it. One of those weird things to think about when driving, I'm 1/2 way to A's school this morning and I think "Shit, I spelled Buddha wrong on my blog entry. People are going to think I'm an idiot. Mental task #137 for the day...correct spelling in blog entry". Two:
I am not a fashion forward kind of person. Sometimes I aspire to be, but then I look at price tags and my cottage-cheesy thighs and flabby gut and think, who the F#&% am I kidding?? Not going to happen! Although my husband on the other hand...with enough Modern Amusement shirts to last hime 2 weeks, he covers it for the both of us.
Two-dot-one:
Shopping at Macy's 20% off sale is depressing. I only had time to make one round of dressing room disasters (I actually tried on a dress that was soooo cute on the hanger but total mumu on my body) and I ended up with a shirt, layering sweater, spring purse and some new cosmetics. I couldn't even deal with the shoe section and hopes of find 3 or 4 pair of nice sandals for the office. I swear, I'm at the point of trashing my entire wardrobe and wanting to start over. OVER!!
Three:
I'm so depressed about my shitty job that I cannot even bring myself to follow through on my deliverables. I have spent more time in the last 4 days on my home PC (when at home) than my work PC it's crazy. Of course, it's crazy that I'm attached to that damned contraption for 3-4 hours in the evening in the first place, but that is another rant for another day. I left the office at 4 today (see two-dot-one) since I had such a pounding headache and could not bring myself to do any more work. My work machine just connected and I have 18 mails since 4:12pm today. ...sigh... Maybe I'll just say Fuck It tonight and go to bed right after A. (and watching last week's Lost so I'm all caught up)
Four:
Norman is still in Vegas. I wish I was in Vegas. Actually, I just wish I was laying by the pool in the sun having the warmth of the rays penetrate my cold body that just cannot seem to recover from this winter. Bring on summer! NOW!
Five:
Still need to know what to get your man for the 5-year wedding anniversary. April 30 Random thoughtsOne:
I just saw a commercial for 28 Weeks Later. I will tell you this, if the world was ever in a zombie situation - I would be dead. Zombies scare me! I cannot watch zombie movies, read zombie stories or care to look at zombie pictures/drawings/art. As I type this I think I have told you all this before...
Two:
We had a very nice Buddha statue in our front yard. Sitting Buddha with a smile, sitting serenely under our Japanese Maple. A few weeks ago, when buds were appearing and the sun came out, Norman and I began yard work. I noticed that Buddha was gone. We did not take him inside or put him inthe garage. So, someone stole our Buddha. What kind of bad, bad karma is it to steal Buddha?
Three:
24. Do you watch it? Is it just me or is this the worst season ever? EVER!!
Three.A:
Lost. Do you watch it? Have they started to redeem themselves or what? I'm two episodes behind, but still - wow.
Four:
Fage, 2% greek yogurt. Tried it? So freaking good...and 17 grams of protein in a serving. Can't get much better than this.
Five:
What do you get a man on your 5-year wedding anniversary?
Just some things to think about. April 26 Talking about Are You Raising Another Man's Child? - Page1 - MSN Lifestyle: MenI find this article appalling on two levels. First of all, that a woman could be deceitful and lie and lead their partner to believe a child that is not theirs truly is. The second is the "oh poor me" the first interviewer embarks on. Yes, your wife cheated. Yes, that is a really shitty thing. But it takes two you know? The guy has some accountability in that equation. Stop being a victim and do something about it. Take responsibility where it's due. Take action to resolved, or dissolve, with your spouse. And above all else, do not harm the child in the process. Isn't the child the most important. Do you love them any less? Be mad at your spouse, be mad at the "other man", do not be mad at the child. Quote Are You Raising Another Man's Child? - Page1 - MSN Lifestyle: Men April 11 Rape is a crimeSo, I'm glad the Duke boys have been cleared of any wrong-doing. I'm sorry your life has been hell for 395 days. I'm sorry you were wrongly accused and drug through the mud by the media and sensationalism. I'm sorry that a woman lied about being attacked, raped and kid-napped. That's horrible and a different topic all together. But what bothers me is the statement about a "rush to accuse". You know what, HOW many women have to be assaulted? HOW many women have to be shunned by their family? HOW many women have to be kicked out into the street and left to pick up the pieces when they are already hurting and struggling to come to grips with rap? HOW many women have to prove way beyond the shadow of a doubt that the crime really did occur? HOW many women in this world are punished themselves for a crime they did not willingly participate in? HOW many women have to be denied an abortion from a rape induced pregnancy? HOW many fucking years do we as women have to put up with being told "you brought it on", "your reputation preceeds you" blah blah FUCKING blah!! Rape is real people. Why do women feel afraid to speak up about it? Why do women have to go above and beyond to convince law enforcment that it's realy? I truly hope that this one instance, this one black cloud, does not push us back ten years in fighting for our rights and getting more credibility in this matter. Like I said, sorry the Duke boys had to go through that...but HOW many women have told the TRUTH over the last thousands of years and NOT come to justice?? HOW FUCKING MANY????
Stick that in your fucking pipe. March 30 Talking about Chocolate Jesus exhibit canceled - Peculiar Postings - MSNBC.comOK, this *just* about made my day! I love that it is named "My Sweet Lord" Chocolate Jesus exhibit canceled - Peculiar Postings - MSNBC.com HahahaHahaha..cough..phew....hmm, am I going to hell? March 22 Barbie bluesI am a feminist. I'm the kind of feminist that believes no one can tell me what I can or cannot do based on my gender. I don't think the men are the root of all evil (most days...) I buy into the belief that Barbie sets a bad example for little girls. I spent a whole unit in college for my Women's Studies minor evaluating Barbie and her evil subconscious ways. Yes, I had a Barbie. But I was much more into decorating her house; wrapping paper scraps for wallpaper, little clay phones and food, beating up on my brother's GI Joe... Did Barbie give me an unrealistic view of my body and what I could accomplish in life? Accomplish - no (regardless of her opinion that "Math is Hard"). Body image - cannot be sure. My Barbie did have all the fashions I could afford on my allowance, or was gifted by a family member. I liked coordinating her clothes, cursed her plastic thighs that made pulling certain fabrics over them nearly impossible...did that do anything to me? I did end up bulimic in my life, but did Barbie factor into that equation in any way? Not sure I will ever know...I think there is some amount of imprint there.
I've been pondering these questions a lot lately. Why? A turns 4 next month and Norman and I don't know what to do for her birthday. Invitations to her event explicity state no presents please... So what she gets as a gift will be from us and her grandparents/uncles/aunts. Last year was easy, Dora house with all the accesories. This year? I'm clueless. I've got quite the girly-girl on my hands. She does love Disney Princess. And Hello Kitty (pronounced Kit-tee in our house). So A, what would you like for your birthday? A Barbie. Damn it! How the hell do I get out of this one? I've already had numerous conversations with my mother that my daughter's would not have a Barbie. My mother thinks the research and feminist opinion on Barbie is a load of crap and she will buy one for her granddaughter if she wants. Will she do it? I wouldn't put it past her...but Oh The Holy War Between Us that she would instigate with that move! I really thought I would not be having the Barbie conversation with A until she was much older when she would perhaps understand Mommy's feminist opinion on the matter. Whether she agreed or not, I could plant the seed.
I'm really pushing on the Groovy Girls. She had a play date about a year ago and fell in love with the friends Groovy Girls. I showed them to her at Target. She asked if they have a Princess Groovy Girl. Thanks to prior research on Amazon, I could confidently say Yes! I love Groovy Girls, I wish I had Groovy Girls gowing up (their fashions far surpass Barbie). Maybe I'll take another pass at Groovy Girls with A on their website and get her on board with this.
...
or maybe we'll go to American Girls and she can pick out a doll.
... I just don't want Barbie in my house. Oh please oh please... March 19 mini Rant & Rave
I've been in the office for 101 minutes and I need another coffee drink...sigh... March 14 Pi DayDid you know that today is official Pi Day? No, I'm not missing a letter...for us math geeks Pi is the subject of many inside jokes and geekery. When I was a math-major-geek in college we used to theorize about proving Pi to the next decimal place as our doctorate thesis. My friend Frank had a poster that wrapped around his room with 6-inch tall numbers spelling out Pi to about 50 place (there are tens of thousands of places in the number).
...sigh...the good ole days.... February 21 Foil on a chalkboardHave you ever cut aluminum foil with scissors? I did so the other day to get smaller pieces for something I was putting in the freezer. The connection of metal to metal created this very eerie, worse than nails on a chalkboard feeling in my head and throat. It's been almost 48 hours now and I cannot get it out of my head. My glasses hurt, my teeth feel weird...or maybe I'm just losing my mind. Of course, the metallic taste I've had in my mouth for a few days may have something to do with it too. I should check my prescriptions and see if that is a side effect. It's really annoying.
I'm just going to come out and say it, poor poor Britney. Pulling her hair out before shaving it off, she is truly troubled. It's gone from cannot-turn-away-from-watching-car-wreck to feeling sorry for her. Child star gone awry. Will she recover? Is she the next generation's Drew Barrymore? Or any random train wreck of late? I guess only time will tell. (personally, I don't like seeing the train wrecks so I'm pulling for recovery...provided that recovery includes her standing up and accepting mothering responsibilities!) February 19 Boy does my head hurtI have such a bad headache. It probably didn't help that I got absorbed in purging my daughter's bedroom and ate 7 hours after lunch. I get bad low blood sugar moments and well, just get out of my way! The headache, I think is a combo of eating late and congestion. Going on the congestion for a week now. Got to keep an eye on that in case something more develops. I took some sudafed this morning and boy did that make a difference. However, if I take it now I'll never go to sleep. And since I didn't get much last night...need a good night's sleep tonight. Thinking about turning in at 9pm.
A and I had a good day together. Her daycare was closed so I took that day off. We went downtown to the market. Saw the fish-throwers, cheese being made, got some good baked yummies, fruit rolls, lots of people watching. It was damn cold though. Even got to the point that A said it was time to go because it was so cold. Thankfully, she cooperated and spent time in her stroller. The market wasn't that busy today either which is nice. Not like going down there on the weekend or something.
I got us some St Patrick's Day bling for the 5k we are doing in a few weeks. That $1 section at Target can be a goldmine sometimes. I got 6 shamrock necklaces, 4 blinking pins and a headband for A to wear. All that for $6. Gotta love a bargain. I'll still have to get streamers for the jogging stroller. And warm clothes. Although a very gratious friend offered to lend me her stuff (big grin). That will be nice. OK, I've been zoning for about 20 minutes on the laptop and should go pay attention to the child. Got to get her off to bed! (Sometimes not having a nap is a good thing) |
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