Well, it's that time again.  The 1-2 week period in the greater Seattle area where temps drop way lower than we are used to, and snow is eminent.  Upon reflection, this seems to happen right before Christmas.  It was 2 years ago we had that terrible windstorm where we lost power for 5 days (others lost it longer).  I seem to remember some snow about this time last year.  Now, where I live, it's barely covering the ground.  It is icy.  And so starts the complete idiot's guide to how NOT to drive in snowy and icy conditions.  It's not that I mind snow, in fact it's wonderful if I don't have to leave my house or the roads are already cleared.  It's the other people on the road that think because they have a big ass SUV they can drive the same speed on ice.  Or those that think because there is snow, they have to drive 5mph in a 40.  ARGH!!

 

Now, we are parents in the world of the elementary school system.  We are governed by school closures and holiday schedules.  Today, at least the school is opening, just 90 minutes late.  Although, I fear this Wednesday we might be closed. 

 

I checked the 10-day weather forecast, it's supposed to be freezing like this for a week.  So no, doesn't look like we'll have a White Christmas.  It looks like it will be a wet, potentially slushy Christmas.  ...sigh...

Is 7:33am truly that early?  I think so, when you really only got 6 hours of sleep, or was it 5?  My stressed afternoon turned out rather nicely.  Althought Sears didn't come, they are promised early this morning.  I went to my team picnic.  It probably helped that while driving to get A - I blared Radiohead really loudly with my windows down.  Loud music and open windows (driving fast if possible) really help calm me down.  The picnic was nice.  A made some new friends.  Home for some relaxations, some G&T, quality time with the husband, good conversation with a friend.  Yep.  All and all a good day.

I'm getting more and more annoyed as the day wears on...

 

I'm sitting at home working.  Well, except for right now.  WAITING for Sears repair to come and look at my broken dryer.  I called and they cannot give me a better window than 1-5pm.  AND - the driver is supposed to call an hour before arriving.  It's now 3, so my plan to get out early to my team's picnic is now freaking shot.  And you all know that the person won't be able to fix it now.  There will be some part they have to order from east-jibip that will take 2 weeks to arrive.  So I'll either be hanging a line outside (screw the homeowners association) or I'll be dragging my laundry to a friends house.  Frick!

 

THEN...I spent a good amount of my Saturday afternoon last weekend cleaning out the garage.  Creating 6 big lawn bags full of donations, plus some small applicances in boxes.  I dragged all that shit out to the curb this morning.  Attached the NEON card to it.  Sitting here on the couch I look outside and see the freaking truck drive RIGHT by my hosue on the way out of the neighborhood.  WTF?!

This day better take an up-turn soon.  Or I'll need to be heavily medicated tonight.

I had an informational this afternoon (for those lucky few outside MSFT - that is a pre-interview for candidate and manager) for a job that sounds very exciting.  And scary at the same time.  It is a rather large job, with lots of exposure, responsibility and fabulous opportunity.  It's nearly paralyzing.  I've been wanting out of my current job for almost a year.  Due to my org stuff.  I love my partners right now, and when doing my actual job without the politics, I really like it!  So why would I leave a job when I love it?  I have this nagging voice in the back of my head...."only leave a relationship when it is working"...for any of your Context-heads.  Crap!!

Boy - it's been a long time since I posted.  Based on my last entry, I can now say I'm in the Obama support camp.

 

Otherwise, I need to update more regularly (inspired by Geeky Mama - thank you).  All these perfect moments, thoughts and arguments that I want to capture...  Yet I have a retention of a sieve if I don't write it down.  Which is why Reqall is so freaking cool!!

 

Although I cannot justify spending $20 to get a jar of "fresh from the factory" Reese cups (and please don't indulge me, I will eat the entire container in one sitting)...fresh Twizzlers is RIGHT up my alley!

Wow, this NEVER would have occured to me.  Ever.

 

And, btw, doesn't the part of body for letter "r" look a bit suspicious as to its location?

 

(courtesty of Dooce)

I'm back at work.  It was an interesting week off.  Starting with my trip to L.A., not exactly what I expected...  I kept saying my whole point was to relax.  And that is what I did, just not how I was expecting it.  Didn't really see any "sights", a few things.  Got to see most of my friends.  Spent time sleeping and recovering (hangover) and continuing to fight off the cold!  I came home and the symptoms just got worse, including an eye infection (can I get a collective Awww...).  So I've been sick about two weeks now and I'm ready for it to be DONE!

 

I saw oodles of movies last week.  In the theaters No Country for Old Men, Beowulf, Bee Movie.  And DVDs Transformers and Spiderman 3.  I think that is more in one week than I've seen in 6 months.  Are you all ready for the Golden Compass next Friday night?  We've secured our baby-sitter!

 

Norman got his copy of Guitar Hero III finally (it was a birthday gift on back order).  He's now calling me his Guitar Hero Widow.  It's not that bad.  Besides, I've always had a thing for musicians.

 

A has been quite a ball of energy.  And she must be growing because she ate all holiday weekend long.  I mean it, constantly hungry and with the snacks and second helpings and everything.  She's so finicky and we so rarely see her eat like that.  Hopefully she liked what they were serving for lunch today, or the ride home will be rather testy.

 

I feel like I had so much else to say, alas - there isn't much in my brain right now.  It will come to me.

I went to give blood today.  I haven't done that in at least a year given we were trying to get pregnant until recently.  So, I get the email saying the bus is coming and am I available to donate.  I make my appointment, walk over to the bus, fill out all the paperwork and go into that secret room where they test your blood and anemia and all that good stuff.  Wanna know why I was denied?  Because I've had a tattoo done in the last 12 months.  I completely forgot about that stipulation.  But there is nothing worse than that little slip of BRIGHT yellow fucking paper they hand you and send you off.  It's almost a walk of shame, red cheeks, stumbling with the door knob to leave.  For all anyone knows, my blood pressure was too high or my iron levels were too low.  But don't you always wonder when they send people away, what was going on with that?  Well, I do, maybe that makes me a bad person.  Or at a minimum a snob.

 

So looks like I won't be donating blood for a few years now.  Since I plan on getting some more ink before the year is out.

Wow, if you look back at my last few entries, one would think I've been depressed this week.  And you would not be far from the truth.  Yes, fall is here, it's been here for quite sometime now.  Yet - my body is still struggling to adjust to the weather.  I don't know if it's contributing to my exhaustion or not.  I wonder if I should go to the doctor, see if I have some deficiency.  Or maybe a naturopath and have my diet examined.  I've had inklings before that there are some foods I should eliminate from my life, but haven't acted on it.  Why?  I love bread and cheese and good chocolate.  Not that I know today any of those are the culprit.  I do wonder about the bread though...I know so many women that gave up wheat and their world turned around.  Or - maybe I'm just bored at work and it's impacting my alertness.  That is very plausible too.  After spending a year in hell of long hours, hard deadlines and inflexible partners, I needed a break.  But this?  It's 9:50 am on a Thursday, I've been here 2 hours now, and have done - oh maybe 20 minutes of work.  Norman thinks I should be job searching.  I did that the other day.  Updated my job agents and poked around the openings.  Yesterday he said I should be looking into renting a commercial kitchen.  Could I?  Could I leave the monotany and "comfort" of a desk job to go make chocolate all day long?  I started out the year thinking of a name for my company, the lines I would carry, the specials...  And now the year draws to a close and I don't have anything for that.  Hm...

 

So, what's different today than any other day this week?  Last night I got a nudge, some encouragement to move forward and make some changes.  So I ask myself, what do I want to do today to move forward and continue the momentum?  Good question, I think I'm going to call my therapist now and make an appointment.  Then go get a cup of coffee.  Then tonight, journal.  Yep, those are my small steps for the day.

It's Monday.  I didn't get much sleep last night.  I was online with a friend for many hours philosophizing and such.  He's on his way to Los Angeles today for a job.  Sad to see him leave the great PNW - but we all make choices for our lives.  I believe he has made the right one for himself and that he will be very successful.  Given my lack of REM, I actually stopped for an espresso this morning.  I haven't done that prior to work since my acupuncturist told me, oh about 5 months ago, to give up coffee altogether.  Well, since I'm not trying to get preggers anymore, why the hell not drink coffee?  Anyway, I stopped and got a triple tall soy cappacino.  Yes, I said a triple.  And you know what, I didn't get the caffeine shakes.  Which leads me to believe I'm now on the opposite end of the spectrum, I now have that caffeine need that will induce migraine-level headaches if I don't get a fix every morning.  But if caffeine is really my only vice, do I have to be that concerned?  Especially if my primary source in the morning is green tea?

 

And...I got my numbers from my trainer today.  Confirmed measurements that I'm well on my way to a leaner me!  I asked her to send me stats from a year ago to see how those fat pounds are melting off and being replaced by muscle.  I like seeing the muscle.  Maybe one day I will have those Linda-Hamilton-Terminator-Arms I often lust about. 

 

So here I sit with a salad and a few documents to read that I never got around to this weekend.  This week, I vow to be more focused on my job...

The room make over went extremely well.  I did not make a box for A to go through and pick out what does/does not go to Goodwill.  She hasn't asked about anything, so we'll keep it that way.  Her only complaint so far is the bed.  It is now angled so only one side is up against the wall.  She doesn't like it that way.  We asked she give it a few more mights sleep before we rearrange again.  Hopefully, she'll get used to it.  Her room now looks like a little girl's room.  It's so sweet.

 

Then we did a bunch of other stuff around the house, yard work, straightening up, etc.  Watched a movie last night.  Today was typical Sunday breakfast with coffee and papers.  Trip to Target.  Food shopping.  Muffin baking (although less muffin and more cupcake).  Norman is at a work event and staying downtown since he has to be up early tomorrow and back there again.  So now the kid is in bed and I'm alone in the house.  I like being alone in the house.  Still, have the blahs.  Not really in the mood for a bath tonight - it has been my Sunday ritual the last few weeks.  I think I'm going to get a whisky and get into bed, catch up on my shows.  Maybe watch the Simpsons.

 

...sigh...I hate feeling like this...

I was driving home tonight looking at a very clear sky and a full moon.  I thought, that explains FUCKING everything!!

 

Then I got home and the calendar tells me the full moon is tomorrow. 

 

Is it close enough to chalk up this day to the tides?  Or was today really today?

We got home last night from our whirlwind tour of the East Coast.  4 days in the Hudson Valley, 4 days in South Jersey, 4 days in Manhattan...it's really good to be home.

 

And what's on my mind today?  Defiant children.  A spent those last 4 days of the trip between my mom & dad's houses while Norman and I were in NYC.  Every time we talked to her on the phone, the first this she would say is "I'm cooperating!"  I think she saved up 4 1/2 days of terror and unleashed them in the last 36 hours.  OMG who is this child?  Today, we have resorted to a punishment tactic of taking a toy away that will get sent to charity.  Ouch.  It's   j u s t  s o  d i f f i c u l t...  I slapped her hand twice yesterday on the plane as she was grabbing and pulling things out my hands, or punching me on the plane.  I know intellectually she was tired and exhausted beyond belief.  I want to trust she was not in her right mind.  It is so frightening to see the line between calm, collected parenting and physical abuse.  I feel guilty still about slapping her hands yesterday.  And today, I had to tell Norman to take the family to the grocery store because I could not trust myself alone with her.  There has been yelling on both sides, there has been continued hitting (on her end) and grabbing of clothes (her again).  I honestly, want to buy a lock for the outside of her door.  Sometimes the only way to get her to calm down is to close the gate at the top of the stairs and let her wail for 5 minutes.  I know someone who had a lock on the outside of her daughter's door.  Is that so bad?  Or maybe I should get one of those door "child safety" things that you really need adults hands to get the door open.  I'm torn up.  We will be talking to her teachers and doctor soon.  Probably even a child behaviorialist.  How in the world would I know how to deal with this???

It's 8:10pm on a Friday.

 

I need to be online for work until who knows when tonight...

None of my friends are online to chat with me in the meantime while I occupy myself with mindless internet crap.

 

The cocktail I had 90 minutes ago is still slightly buzzy in my head, which makes "working" very interesting... 

This will not be a happy entry.

 

I'm having a really tough week at work.  One of my "clients" can be difficult to deal with.  She's a play-my-way-or-go-home kind of business person.  If you don't know me, I don't respond well to this.  Sure, I'm open to your ways and will discuss to find the best solution...but lately, we have been nearly at each other's throats.  I'm embarassed at how others on my team and around me see what's going on.  A bunch of us went to lunch today and the joke was about throwing down bets and sitting back to watch the battle.  This is not how I want to show up at work.  A few weeks ago, I was venting to a team member and said I feel like a battered spouse.  She jumped all over that, agreeing with me and commenting that it is the perfect description for what is going on.  On some level, I feel OK as I know it isn't just me.  This "client" has similiar issues with different people.  So why are those of us dealing with the common denominator scrambling to make life better?  Why do we all need to bend to one freaking stubborn pole?

 

AH!

 

That said, in the coming weeks I am transitioning out of my current project and onto a completely different one.  With totally new people.  Sure, I'm not naive, I know there will be other personality challenges...but not having to deal with this one for another year.  Well, thank goddess for that!

 

And, tonight I'm going to the Mariner's game with Norman in really awesome seats.  Yahoo for me! 

1.  This is about the funniest thing I have seen in a long time.  I wonder where the girl version is...

 

2.  I'm 165 pages into the new Harry Potter.  Too early to comment...although I struggle to see how she is going to wrap this up.

 

3.  I really need a good cocktail.  Like a green tea martini or a stiff gin and tonic.  Although I'm aching for the green tea martini...

 

4.  I'm on this new "snack" kick.  Ever since my project-from-hell finished UAT (that's User Acceptance Testing for you non-technical folk) I have been avoiding the mini-bags of chocolate (M&Ms are my weakness), snack packs of goldfish (Parmesan...give me the sharp cheese!), and eating solely because I'm stressed and/or bored.  I'm working on fruit and veggies.  I brought in a bag of mini carrots the other day to accompany hummus and crackers for lunch.  Gawd I hate carrots.  They are so boring.  I think their only purpose is a vehicle for dips.  Kinda like potato chips but better.  Anyhow, the new snack approach is working out pretty well for me.  My body is still having some withdrawal symptoms, I anticipate these too shall pass.

 

5.  Tomorrow is the company picnic.  It has potential.  I hope...

 

6.  I have to find a black dress for my brother's wedding.  Just below the knee, classic kind of design.  I was at the mall last night and found nothing.  I think I either need to do formal shop, Nordie's online or David's Bridal.  What do you like?

Ahhh...2:55pm on my first day off in awhile.  Norman is out of town, A is at school, and I'm indulging in whatever the hell I want today.  Started with A waking me at 7am, getting her to school, working out...a one hour trip to Target.  Most of that time looking at clothes, sometimes you can find treasures at Target.  Like this one (believe me the picture does not do it justice), a blazer and $9 clearance shorts.  Definitely worth the trip. 

 

Home to some lunch and 200 pages of Half Blood Prince (in anticipation of Deathly Hallows).  And now thinking once I'm finished with Prince, I'll go back to Order of the Phoenix in anticipation of the movie.  I've had the book release on my calendar for some time now.  I want to go to one of the midnight parties at whatever bookstore and see the celebration.  My friend's dad did it a few books ago and thought it was one of the best things - seeing all these young kids so excited about a book and reading.  And after all, it is the last Harry Potter book right?  I wonder what J.K. Rowling has on tap for her next project.  Will she continue writing? 

 

And there again, in line with this entry, have you seen and read the interviews with Emma Watson?  That girl certainly has her head on her shoulders.  Another fine example of a woman on the right track.  (I won't even mention the names of the others I've come to purposefully not pick up People or read about in E).  I particularly like that Emma is so proud of portraying a brainy girl, someone who isn't afraid to be who they are, not some image of what others think she should be.  You go girl!

 

It never fails I always think of all these things I want to say here, yet escape me when I sit down to write.  I should keep a list...